Not Again
by bad-wolf-bay
Summary: (COMPLETE)everything was perfect. then you were gone. then him. its not fair, why both of you, so young, so much to live for. i love you both.
1. chapter 1

Lily sighed and fell onto the couch as the front door slammed behind her husband.

_It was our 7th and final year at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and Wizardry, and for once I wasn't dreading seeing a certain raven-haired boy._

'_no, young man' I had to keep correcting myself._

_My parents had died the day we came home after 6th year. James' parents were late as they were both Auros, and Voldemort had been getting stronger over the past year. When Mr and Mrs Potter arrived, they asked who I was as I was standing alone near to James. (Sirius had gone to spend the summer with Remus) When I told them who I was, Mrs Potter burst into tears and Mr Potter tried not to show any emotion, typical of Potter males. James somehow knew what had happened, and gently told me my parents had been killed in the latest attack. That was the first time I'd seen him show any concern for anybody other than the Mauraders. He held me as my walls crumbled, I felt so alone and numb._

_I don't remember leaving the platform, or arriving at the Potter mansion in the Welsh countryside. I'd screamed in the morning, when I saw James sitting next to my bed in nothing but a dressing gown. We got to know each other that summer. I soon realised how much I **loved **James. Just as much as I made out I **hated** him! We soon became a couple, and on my birthday, his parents left us alone. He took me to Venice, though I only remember what happened when we got back. . .!_

_Over the weeks, we were inseparable. Mara and TJ, who had been on holiday, met up with us and the other Marauder in Diagon Alley. All were shocked to see how well we were getting along. We filled them in on what had happened. . . though. . . not on us becoming a couple! That was secret._

_I also found out that I was head girl, the new head boy was. . ._


	2. chapter 2

_. . . Amos Diggery! I screamed with frustration. Is should have known James wouldn't be chosen. Well, we were going to have to work around **that. **James was made Quidditch captain, no surprise there. _

_We all had a great day and James invited everyone back to his place. Well. . . we had a food fight in the kitchen until Mrs Kuttle shooed us out. We had a tickling fight in the living room, until Mr Potter complained. Then we had a huge pillow fight in James' room until we collapsed from exhaustion._

_Finally around 1 in the morning everyone left leaving us alone in his room (?)_

_The next day we were going back to Hogwarts and I was really looking forward to the year ahead. But I wasn't impressed by the fact I wouldn't be around James 24/7. We found the compartment with everyone in. we found the Marauders in with my best mates Mara and TJ, and by the looks of things TJ was going out with Sirius and Mara was with Remus. Everyone teased me and James as we were sitting rather close together and everyone knew that James really liked me, though only Mara knew I kind of liked him back. (Well at the end of last year anyway) James told me later that I had fallen asleep on him, then he'd fallen asleep as well. Both of us had instantly put our arms around each other protectively. There's photo evidence._

_The sorting seemed to take forever. All I wanted was food. I could hear Sirius' stomach rumbling. James sat next to me, his hand resting on my knee, my hand holding his for as long as possible._

_When the sorting was finished, Dumbledore only said 'Tuck in' followed by a huge cheer from the Marauders!_

'_So Lily, what was with you; firstly falling asleep on James, then putting your arms around him? You to Prongs.' I shrugged quickly and said ' I needed a pillow.' James struggled for an answer, so played with his food. They seemed satisfied, and went back to their own conversations. We both grabbed the others hand under the table by instinct. Seen by no one but Mara._

_As Head Girl I had to show had to show the first years where to go. But I found myself being dragged to the Room of Requirement. I soon found out why; as I was pushed onto a nearby couch and felt James firmly press his lips to mine, both hungry for each other, our hands freely roamed over our bodies and every inch of skin was kissed, every pour released sweat._

_James finally made it back to the common room, while I went to my own with Amos Diggery. Fun!_


	3. chapter 3

_The year went by quickly, homework mounted, Quidditch more fierce, attacks more frequent and violent._

_During transfiguration, our last day before the Christmas holidays, Dumbledore came in looking suddenly rather old, the twinkle gone from his blue eyes. James was asked to go to his office. No-one had any idea why as the Marauders hadn't played many pranks this year. There hadn't been time. Everyone was confused, no more so than me as James had been spending moist of his free time with me. (Of course bringing the map and invisibility cloak, so the others wouldn't find out about us!)_

_He wasn't at lunch, nor in charms that afternoon, and wasn't at dinner. Everyone was worried. Sirius went to the kitchens and asked if James had been-no. They tried the map, couldn't find it, and no cloak. He could have been anywhere. When I finally made it to my dorm that night, I was shocked to find James curled up asleep on my bed. I walked quietly over the wooden floor and what I saw horrified me._

_Here was James Luke Potter, prankster since before he could walk, Quidditch captain, chaser, rich, extremely popular with the girls, so handsome that the female population practically drooled over him, and he was on my bed, curled up in a foetal position, eyes bloodshot, tearstains down his face, glasses Hanging from his lip hand and holding onto a stuffed stag._

_I sat on the bed beside him and gently stroked his hair. I jumped when his eyes snapped open. There wasn't the usual glint that was part of the Potter trademark (males only, pranksters), instead there was pain and sorrow. I was horrified to see a thirst for revenge behind the pain. I wiped away his tears._

'_James, what happened?'_

'_They're dead.'_

'_Who?'_

'_Everyone.'_

_I didn't understand and my confusion obviously showed on my face as James showed me the antler of the stag. There was a note, written in James' scruffy handwriting:_

'To my dearest Cleo,

I won't be here

When you arrive

So I give you

This, a memory

Of me.

Have great pranks,

Carry on Potter

Tradition to

Give McGonagall

A heart attack (!)

Lots of love

Your big brother

James.

p.s. love you loads.

_Then I understood. His family._


	4. chapter 4

_James stayed all night. He told me what had happened. Harold and Lucy Potter had just brought Cleo home from a friends house, they were decorating the house, when Death Eaters arrived. Cleo had been 10 years old, when she was brutally gang raped in front of her parents, tortured and killed. The same to her mother, her father felt nothing as the crucio curse was put on him, he was killed while we were having breakfast. The Minister of Magic found them. James and Cleo were very close, despite the age gap. James had given her the stag when her first came to Hogwarts, not knowing that was his animagus form. She'd carried it everywhere. She'd been holding it the entire time the Death Eaters were there. _

_I held James as he cried, I watched him as he threw things, I stopped him when my window became a new friend. He finally fell asleep in my arms in the early hours of the morning. He was still asleep when i woke. I left him a note and regretfully left for breakfast. I was late and the only seat left was next to the Marauders. They were discussing James when I sat down._

'_He's asleep.'_

_All three boys looked at me._

'_And how do you know that?'_

'_There's no need to snap Sirius.'_

'_You stay awake all night worrying then.'_

'_I did. I was petrified he might jump out of my window, or seriously hurt himself when he was throwing things around my room!'_

_Silence._

'_No offence Lily, but what was he doing with you?'_

_I was tempted to tell the whole truth, but resisted._

'_his parents and sister were killed yesterday. As you know I lost my parents in July, so I know what he's going through.'_

_Again, silence._

_Then a sniff._

'_Sirius?'_

'_They were practically my parent. They gave me everything a kid needs from when I about 6. I was always a disappointment to my real parents.'_

'_Follow me.'_

_All four of us got up and went to the Head tower._

'_stay here a minute.'_

_I went into my room and found James awake and obviously waiting for me. I sat on the bed and in an instant James was on top of me, the glint back in his eyes._

'_Thank you for last night and. . . urm. . . sorry about throwing your stuff around.'_

'_No worries. You needed to do something.'_

_James leaned in and caught me in a passionate kiss. Before it got any further, I had to stop._

'_James. . . stop. . .they're. . . outside.'_

_James stopped._

'_Who?'_

'_your friends.'_

'_Shit!'_

_He rolled off me and tried to make himself more presentable._

'_James, they're your best friends, not the Minister.'_

_He gave up and went into the common room. He told them everything, still holding the stuffed stag. I tried to leave to give them some space, but James wanted me to stay._

_The others left and James led me back to my room. I didn't object, he needed to take his mind off things for a while. We laid in each others arms for a while, but soon I started to feel sick, like I'd eaten too much. I knew I hadn't as I'd lost my appetite, but within seconds I was throwing up the small breakfast I had had that morning._

_James came over with a glass of water and my dressing gown._

'_Lil? What's wrong?'_

'_No idea. Stomach bug or shock.'_

_He continued to rub my back. We went for a walk later that day and met up with the other Marauders. Mara and TJ were getting their homework done before they left for home._

_I felt better after lunch, but over the next couple of weeks, I was constantly throwing up my breakfast. Something that didn't miss James. He was slowliy recovering and everyone was stating for Christmas except my best mates. This was easier for him as the Marauders were his family in every way except blood._

_On Christmas eve, I refused to eat breakfast, but I still threw up anything left in my stomach. Somehow the Marauders got into the Head Tower._

'_Lily?'_

_I heard Remus calling for me. I was about to reply, but I emptied my stomach instead. They found me by the noise._

'_Evan, what is wrong with you? You can't keep your breakfast down, even if you don't eat.'_

_I could have sworn I heard a bit of concern in Sirius' voice. I could tell James was trying very hard not to come over and look after me, but it would blow our cover._

'_I just have a bug.'_

'_what! That lasts 3 weeks, every morning?'_

'_Black! Leave it!' I warned him, giving him my famous, icy glare._

'_Or morning sickness.'_

_I snapped my head around and stared at the quietest Marauder: Peter._

'_It's not possible.'_

'_Ooooh, is Miss Evan still a virgin?'_

_Again I glared, my head saying 'No as I slept with your best mate in the bed behind you only last night.' Instead, I blushed and didn't say anything. James came to my rescue._

'_Padfoot, there's nothing wrong in being a virgin. At least she has morals.'_

_Remus and Peter laughed, but stopped when I threw up again._

'_Right, that's it.'_

_I felt strong arms picking me up and walking out of the tower. I opened my eyes and realised it was James._

'_J-Potter! What are you doing?'_

'_Taking you to the hospital wing.'_

_I groaned, but settled into his arms. When we got there, Madam Pomfrey thought they had hexed me. I was put on a bed and the nurse refused to look at me unless boys left. They did, but extremely reluctantly._

_The nurse put screens around the bed and even put a silencing charm around us. I was very confused._

'_Madam Pomfrey, what are you doing?'_

_The older woman sighed and sat on the edge of the bed._

'_My dear, I've been watching you. You have no stomach bug.'_

_I was even more confused._

'_What is it then?'_

_As an answer, the nurse pulled up my jumper revealing my stomach, which I noticed was no longer flat! She waved her wand and muttered something I didn't hear. Then an image appeared, floating above my stomach. An image only an ultra-sound could produce. . .then it hit me!_


	5. chapter 5

_I was pregnant!_

_I was horrified!_

_I was 17!_

_Then I thought about James. Did he want to be a father this young?_

_All sorts of things went through my mind. I loved him so much. I couldn't loose him, not now. Could I abort the baby if I could keep James. I seriously considered it._

'_Miss Evan? Miss Evans? MISS EVANS?'_

'_Huh? Oh-sorry.'_

'_May I ask of the father. Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore will need to be told.'_

'_shit. Urm-ok. It's-well-he's-'_

'_Miss Evans, two words will do.'_

'_James Potter.'_

'_I didn't catch that.'_

'_James Potter.'_

'_I'm sorry, Miss you really need to speak louder.'_

'_JAMES POTTER!' thank god for the silencing charm._

'_Ha-o-ok. I see, I'll go and get him no-'_

'_NO! Let me tell him in my own time.' _

'_McGonagall will speak to you today. Both of you.'_

'_I'll tell him soon. How long will morning sickness last?'_

'_A few days, a week at the most.'_

'_When they come in, can you say that this 'bug' will be cleared up in about a week?'_

'_Of course Miss Evans. Well, I better let them in before they break the door down.'_

_We both laughed, though mine was forced. Before I had time to think, four boys came bursting in. they all clambered on my bed and waited patiently for me to say what was wrong. James was looking at me weirdly and I was glad that I'd sat up and pulled my jumper down in time._

'_look all I have is a stomach bug. It'll be cleared up in about a week.'_

'_That's a relief. For a moment we thought you were pregnant!'_

_Again I forced myself to laugh. Sirius didn't know about me and James. No-one did._

_We talked for a bit, but soon, they all got hungry and left. All but James. As soon as he was sure they had gone, he scooted closer and forced me to look into his eyes._

'_You lied.'_

_I pushed him away, and before he could respond, I laid back down and pulled my jumper up to reveal my small bump._

'_What do you notice?'_

_He stared at me for a moment, then looked at my stomach. He frowned and ran his hand gently from my ribs to the waistband on my hipster jeams and back again. He continued for a few minutes, then as his hand moved over my belly button, we both felt movement. His hand froze. He paled. His eyes widened. He looked at me. I nodded. He smiled weakly. Hten he suddenly jumped around on the spot._

'_I'm gonna be a dad. I'm going to be a father. . .!'_

'_I take it you're happy.'_

'_Happy? I'm overwhelmed. This is wonderful. Why, aren't **you** happy?_

'_I was just worried about your response.' _

_He sat down on the bed, one hand resting over our child. He leaned in and we shared the most powerful and passionate kiss we would ever share. I knew things were going to be fine. Now all we had to do was either tell our friends or to keep it a secret._


	6. chapter 6

_McGonagall and Dumbledore didn't seem **that **surprised when they were told who was to be a father, but they were almost **horrified **to find it was me James had duffed up. They came later in the evening when James had come back from playing Quidditch with the boys. I hoped our child would inherit James' love and talent of the sport. . . it was a Potter tradition after all._

_We decide to keep it a secret as Madam Pomfrey said there was an illusion charm I could use to hide my bump, but I just had to look forward to the aching back and swollen ankles. She also told us that I would be due around early August. I couldn't wait. James left with the headmaster as he had something he wanted to discuss, while Professor McGonagall stayed. Madam Pomfrey also made a hasty exit._

'_Lily, how long have you been seeing James?'_

'_Since July 30th.'_

'_Well, I believe you have finally achieved what all the teachers have been trying to do for years.'_

_Again I was confused. I hate that._

'_You've made him grow up, and most importantly, this has made him realise that he **has** to be responsible. He's going to be a father now.'_

'_And a very good one at that.'_

_She raised an eyebrow._

'_He was very close to his younger sister, she was like a daughter to him. He took care of her, protected her. That's why he felt even worse when she was killed. He wasn't there to protect her, to do whatever it took to save her.'_

_The stern woman agreed and stayed with me giving me hints, and (too my horror) I wouldn't be given too much work as it wasn't good for me to be under too much stress. Also James would have had a fit at the teachers. _

_I was let out the next day and I soon found TJ and Mara (who had decided to stay at the last minute) sitting by the lake with the Marauders. They were all being loud, alone with he rest of the school. They were all taking advantage of the snow that had fallen during the night._

_Everyone saw me walk over to the group by the lkae. I heard snippets of conversation along the way;_

'_-Wonder what Potters' done now-'_

'_-Why do they hare each other?'_

_-No idea-'_

'_They've had a grudge for 7 years now-'_

'_-Pathetic-'_

_There was a shocked silence that fell over the grounds when James saw me, as he stood up and gave me a tight hug like an old friend. I hugged him back just as tightly. We sat down next to each other and he put his arm around me as I shivered. I knew I shouldn't have been outside, but – well—I'm stubborn._

_Everyone stopped and stared. Their mouths open wide, eyes the size of tennis balls._

'_What!'_

_James looked around, trying to look confused. I was just getting annoyed._

'_Hey, we're friends, so shut your gobs, close your eyes and bloody continue with what you kids do to entertain them selves. Nosey gits!!!'_

_I felt sorry for James; he'd have to cope with more mood swings than normal. _

_All felt the crack of a whip behind my words and quickly carried on, conversations just as loud as before. I turned back to my best friends._

'_When did this happen?' Mara was staring at me as if she'd only just seen me, like I had just appeared out of thin air._

'_What? Us becoming friends?'_

_She looked like she was going to say something else, but changed her mind._

'_Look, guys, when my family was killed, Lily was the only person who knew what I was going through. She knew what it felt like to be a victim of Voldemorts cruelty, so naturally I turned to her. We found out stuff about each other and we found that we actually enjoyed each others company. We also get on really well, so we decide to give friendship a go.'_


	7. chapter 7

_Christmas was a blur except for when James told me to meet him outside Dumbledore's' office at 2 that afternoon._

_He was there waiting when I arrived, and he only took my hand and said the password;_

'_Future unknown.'_

'_James—'_

'_I'll tell you in a minute.'_

_We climbed the staircase in silence, my free hand unconsciously rubbing my belly under my sweatshirt._

_Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk when we walked in._

'_Ah, I see you've arrived.'_

'_What's going on?'_

'_Lily, sit.'_

_I obeyed James and watched as he paced up and down, trying to find the right words. He finally knelt down before me and held my hands over my stomach._

'_Lily, you know about the war, how dangerous it is, especially for you being muggleborn, especially for me being a Potter. These two things put our child at great risk._

_My family can be traced back to Godric Gryffindor himself, and Voldemort, Salazar Slytherin. Both arch enemies, both having completely different ideas._

_My parents were two of the best Auros for 20 years, and when Voldemort started to gain power, he asked my parents to join him. They refused. He asked again. They refused. He got annoyed, but asked again. They refused. They died. I'm the last Potter that is a threat to him, so I'm at the top of his '_to 'kill'_ list._

_Before Christmas, both Sirius and I applied to be Auros. We were accepted. After Christmas we and a few others will be secretly trained in Hogwarts. They need new Auros straight after we graduate._

_Lily, I may not survive the war. I may be killed before our child is born and if that happens, according to wizarding law, you will have no power over our child being classed as a Potter. . . unless. . .'_

'_Unless what?'_

'_. . . We're married.'_

_I stared at him. I felt our child inside me moving at the touch of their father. I tired to take in all the information._

'_Lets' do it.'_

'_Huh?'_

'_Lets' get married!'_

_James grinned at me and then moved so he was on one knee._

'_Lily Maria Evans, I have loved you since I bumped into you on our first train journey to Hogwarts. You allowed me to finally show you who the real James Potter is, and you didn't run away. You stayed. Then you fell in love with me, something I thought was only possible in my dreams. Then you tell me you're having **my** child. I can't describe my feelings when I realised I was stroking your swollen belly that had **our baby** growing inside. I couldn't believe it, not after my family being killed. You showed me life goes on, no matter what, time doesn't stop whatever happens. I want this to be complete. So would you, take me James Luke Potter to be your husband?'_

_I threw myself onto the floor and kissed him passionately forgetting I was 3 ½ months pregnant and that our headmaster was watching._

_I eventually pulled away._

'_You had to ask?'_

'_I take that as a yes?'_

'_Yes! I love you and I'm so glad you're my baby's' father. You will survive and you will make a great dad. I have no idea what we'll tell the others when it's born, but no matter, I've dreamed of being your wife for years.'_

'_You have?'_

'_Yes. But I wanted you to change first.'_

'_And that he has.'_

_We both whipped around, suddenly remembering where we were. _

'_If you both follow me.'_

_He led us to the stairs leading to the upper floor of his office. He walked to a small door at the back and walked down a steep spiralling staircase. We carefully followed him, James holding my hand the whole time._

_At the bottom was a chapel._

'_Now?'_

'_Why not Miss Evans? If you go through the door to your right, Minerva is waiting. James follow me.'_

_I looked at James as he followed Dumbledore into a room on our left. I had an idea of what the old coot was up to._

_Professor McGonagall had a collection of wedding dresses in the room and helped me chose one in between me crying. All this **was** making me rather hysterical._

'_It's just your hormones, don't worry.'_

_My favourite teacher did my make up and put my hair up in an elegant style, and clipped it at the crown of my head with a real diamond tiara. I had soft ringlets cascading down the back of my neck and framing my face._

_Mr dress was strapless and was tight fitting, but loose from my waist down, trailing behind me. My veil covered my face and finished at the small of my back. I was also petrified, though it was only in front of our headmaster and head of house. The former came and told us they were reading. Two minutes later I was taking my vows. Both professors cried, though mainly Minerva._

_I still can't describe the feeling when James placed the ring on my finger, or the feeling when the vicar pronounced us husband and wife, or even the feeling of being kissed for the first time by my husband._


	8. chapter 8

_No-one knew of our marriage. It was kept a secret and our wedding certificate was kept by Dumbledore. The vicar had his memory modified, and James and I carried on with our lives._

_Over the next months, the illusion charm became very important. My room was moved next to McGonagall's' so she could perform it every morning. The Auror training that Sirius and James were taking was very tiring for them, along with their NEWTs. Frank Longbottom and Alice Prewett were also being trained._

_By April, we could be told the sex of our baby, and we both desperately wanted to know._

'_Oh, James look.'_

_I pointed to the body of baby. James couldn't speak, his emotions and feelings were all in his eyes as he looked on, a proud father without even knowing the sex._

'_Do you want to know?'_

'_YES!!!'_

'_Well, Mr and Mrs Potter, you are going to be very proud parents of a very healthy baby boy.'_

_We started on names that night._

_Soon, everyone was on edge and not because the NEWTs were around the corner. Voldemort had been far more active in the last few weeks than ever before and over 200 had been killed. Even the muggles had noticed something was amis._

_James became very jumpy and spent a lot of time with me, talking to our son. Also, he had obviously been told something he wasn't allowed to tell me. I didn't pressure him, the stress of knowing wasn't going to do our son any good at all._

_No one had noticed how close we had become in public. We had talked a lot and decided to tell our friends about us and our son. But Voldemort got in the way._


	9. chapter 9

_James finally told me what was so important. Peter had become a Death Eater and had told Voldemort about me and how close I had become to the person he wanted to kill the most. My sister had been targeted. They'd tried to keep her safe. They failed._

_We couldn't tell our friends now. Instead we had to act like we now hated each other. I now had to hate my husband for the death of a sister I had hated since I was 7 years old. It worked. The whole school was once again on edge whenever I and James were in the same room as each other. We could never argue like we did before, I would have miscarried for sure. Instead we glared at each other and my knife tongue was back. We hated every minute of it._

_Soon the 7th years didn't even have enough energy to stay awake, as we were all studying so hard. McGonagall made me stay in bed for 2 days as I was exhausting myself. I made up an excuse like I was missing my parents and whished they were there to see me. I said it was giving me a total breakdown, thought the only breakdown I as having was out of boredom._

_The closer the NEWTs came, the more Voldemort attacked._

_Then on the day of our final exam, Voldemort and 200 Death Eaters took control of Hogsmead._


	10. chapter 10

_James stayed with me that night, with his wife and child, not knowing what was going to happen, but knowing he was going to have to fight._

_Alaster 'Mad-eye' Moody and over 100 Aurors stormed into the Great Hall the next morning, June 30th. Every student that had been trained was called upon._

_James hugged me and tried to show he was saying sorry, not goodbye. I made a show of forgiving him and watched as my soulmate walked away from me forever. 13 Aurors were killed, 13 injured. We were told 3 hours after they had left. Me, Mara, TJ and Remus were all trying to comfort another. No one could get through to me, I could feel my son become upset. I knew something was wrong._

_All the students that had left returned and nobody saw James come back. Not even Sirius knew what had happened. I don't remember what happened when Moody came in followed by the Aurors, injured or not, and lastly an Auror floating a stretcher before her. James lay upon it cold as ice. On his hand the wedding ring I'd put there.in his pocket every single ultra scan we'd been to, a picture from our wedding day and the only photo of the both of us where I didn't have the illusion charm on me at 6 months._

_I walked straight out of the hall and went to Gryffindor tower and climbed the boys staircase until I reached the 7th year dorm. I walked inside and picked up James' invisibility cloak, the Mauraders map, photos, some of his clothing, his broom and his diaries that he'd been writing in since his first day at Hogwarts. Everything James had had on him including his wand appeared in his dorm so I picked them up as well. I never graduated. I left the same day James was killed and never returned._

_I gave birth to Harry James Potter on the 31st July, no-one, not even the teachers who knew ever saw him. We were happy. I would pay the price for the mistake I made._


	11. chapter 11

Harry grew up happy and very much like his father, and not only in looks. When he was 6 we moved to London, our neighbours were Amy and Adam Granger, their daughter Hermione was also 6 years old.

By accident both Harry and Hermione started dong accidental magic like breaking things, levitating things and generally causing havoc. Their magic was enhanced when they were in the same room, and I knew they were destined to be together.

Amy and Adam were estatic when Hermione started showing signs of magic. Then I found they were squibs, who knew of the wizarding world and of course the Potters. They both promised not to tell a soul.

I soon became very close to them and I didn't want to take Harry away from the love of his life. Though neither understood yet.

Both children were very bright for their age and you could have the same conversation with them that you could have with a 10 year old.

Harry automatically flirted with her. It brought me to tears and of course, Hermione fell under the Potter charm. We could all see it. They became the best of friends and very protective of each other. They went to school together and we all watched them become ever closer.

Everyday I dreaded that someone would come by the Grangers and see all the photos of us all that covered the walls of both our homes.

Harry was also very close to me. He always asked about James. By the time he was 9, both him and Hermione knew what had happened to him and how we got together. They both read his diaries, and Harry winced and refused to read any more when James went into. . . rather. . . too much detail about our first time, though he got over the shock. Hermione had just laughed, which had started a tickling war. When they had stopped Harry had been on top of her. That was when they'd started dating. As parents we could both feel and see the love between them, and that they had met 'the one'.

July 31st, Harry's birthday. 10 YEARS OLD!!!!!! Harry's first kiss and the day they both got their Hogwarts letters. The day I completely panicked. I hadn't panicked like that for 10 years!


	12. Chapter 12

Harry grew up happy and very much like his father, and not only in looks. When he was 6 we moved to London, our neighbours were Amy and Adam Granger, their daughter Hermione was also 6 years old.

By accident both Harry and Hermione started dong accidental magic like breaking things, levitating things and generally causing havoc. Their magic was enhanced when they were in the same room, and I knew they were destined to be together.

Amy and Adam were estatic when Hermione started showing signs of magic. Then I found they were squibs, who knew of the wizarding world and of course the Potters. They both promised not to tell a soul.

I soon became very close to them and I didn't want to take Harry away from the love of his life. Though neither understood yet.

Both children were very bright for their age and you could have the same conversation with them that you could have with a 10 year old.

Harry automatically flirted with her. It brought me to tears and of course, Hermione fell under the Potter charm. We could all see it. They became the best of friends and very protective of each other. They went to school together and we all watched them become ever closer.

Everyday I dreaded that someone would come by the Grangers and see all the photos of us all that covered the walls of both our homes.

Harry was also very close to me. He always asked about James. By the time he was 9, both him and Hermione knew what had happened to him and how we got together. They both read his diaries, and Harry winced and refused to read any more when James went into. . . rather. . . too much detail about our first time, though he got over the shock. Hermione had just laughed, which had started a tickling war. When they had stopped Harry had been on top of her. That was when they'd started dating. As parents we could both feel and see the love between them, and that they had met 'the one'.

July 31st, Harry's birthday. 11 YEARS OLD! Harry's first kiss and the day they both got their Hogwarts letters. The day I completely panicked. I hadn't panicked like that for 10 years!


	13. Chapter 13

Harry was going to the Wizarding world. I would have to go as well. I would have to face Mara, TJ, Remus and Sirius, who was pratically my brother-in-law. They were going to hate me. I had kept their best friends son away from them. I had to face the music.

I told Harry of my fears. It was him comforting me as I crumbled, just as I had done to James.

'Mum they can't hate you. If you had stayed, neither or us would be here now. You left so I could survive, so I could one day meet them, one day live up to my name and destroy Voldemort once and for all. I wont let them hate you.'

Even at 11, they weren't afraid to say his name. Harry had learned early on, that when he went to Hogwarts, he would have to destroy the manic bastard who had murdered his father. That maniac was after the Potter blood, as pure as the Malfoys, Blacks, Weaslys, amongst many.

We ended up taking the two very energetic kids to Diagon Alley the day after Harry's birthday, as the 1st August was Hermione's birthday (ok, I now its not her real birthday, but it needs to be to fit the plot, so plz don't shot me) harry had insisted it be on hers. We got their books, robes, cauldrons, owls and cat before they could get too excired to want to do anything else, but they refused to settle until they got their wands. Harry had James' in his pocket, but couldn't wait to get his own.

After we left, Harry came up beside me and clung onto my arm like a small child.

'Harry what –'

'Mum, can we sneak off. I've seen the perfect pressant for 'Mione.'

Then I remembered, he had always clung to me when he was nervous or scared, which he looked both at that moment.

'O.k, hang on lover boy.'

He blushed, I always enjoyed teasing him bout his best friend, but I really felt sorry for him as he had inherited my trait of blushing very very _very _easily.

'Hey Amy, Adam, I just wanna so Harry something. We'll meet up for an ice cream in say . . . 20 minutes?'

Adam nodded in understanding after looking at Harry's face.

'Yeah no worries lily. Come on I did promise the ladies an ice cream.'

Mother and daughter linked arms with him an walked off, but I saw Hermione look back and give Harry a questioning look, who just shrugged and looked confused. I hid my grin.

'Come on then, what is it?'

He lead me back towards Gringotts then to a small door just to the side. I laughed but stopped as Harry looked up at me, his eyes wide in fear as if he was debating wether to propose to her or not.

'You Potter men never change.'

He looked confused, but smiled at the thought of his father.

'What do you mean?'

'Oh, your dad brought me a beautiful necklace from here when we started dating.'

Unknown to me at the time, 4 adults were standing on the steps of the bank and had seen and heard everything. They watched as the 10 year old James look alike held my hand as I lead him into the famous Jewellery shop.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

We came out 10 minutes later with Harry carrying a small bag with a necklace inside. It was shaped like a deardrop with a rose attached to it. The chain was barley visible, that camolflaged itself against the wearers skin. Inside the teardrop was a shell opal stone from New Zealand. It may have been expensive, but you can't put money to love. Neither of us noticed thte two couples following us. I gave Harry a piggy back and laughed with him as I ran down Diagon Alley.

We finally made it back to the ice cream paler, both out of breath. Hermione almost shriecked at seeing me carrying Harry, but when I put him down her face didn't change. Amy and Adam paled. I felt Harry turn around and swear. I turmed to scooled him.

'Harry James P—'

I stopped dead and saw Sirius and TJ with 2 children, then Mara with Remus and 3 other children. I instantly panicked and aparrated away with Harry. 10 minutes later the Grangers came bursting out of the fireplace to see me seriously hyperfentilating with Harry not knowing what to do. Hermione pulled him into the kitchen while Amy calmed me down. Adam suggested we go to a muggle pub to calm me down before I explain to Hary what had happedned. When I told him this he seemed to understand, or maybe he was worried I might get really angry which was possible as that moment. Either way we left oiur children alone knowing we could trust them. I kissed them both goodnight and told them I loved them. I told tem I would see them in them morning. As Hermione said goodnight ther parents I turned to Harry.

'Your dad would be so proud of you you know, going to Hogwarts, already got a girl falling at your feet. Just remember I don't want to go grey early just because im constantly worrying about what you'll be up to next or you will get a howler every day.'

I laughed at the look on his face.

'Don't worry mum, dad will look after me.'

I didn't have anything to say so I just kissed him (much to his horror!) and left with my closest friends.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15.

We went to the local pub The Prince of Wales and just enjoyed each others company. I forgot about seeing my friends, happily married and mothers. I forgot the knowing look on Mara's face when Harry turned around. I forgot the looks of hatred and confusion from Sirius and Remus. TJ never looked at me, why? I'll never know that answer.

What I did know that night was when we his in a dark corner of the park outside to use a portkey, I collapsed in pain, clutching my heart.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

When we got home we found the house quite. Too quite. The kids weren't in their beds. Me and Adam called out to them. Amy screamed from the living room. I instantly apparated to her side. I was almost sick.

Lying on the floor, both naked were our children. They seemed to have snuggled close together, Harry's arms protectively around her waist, Hermione leaning her head on his chest. They could have been sleeping had their eyes not been open.

Adam, swallowing hard took the blanket off the sofa and covered them. Before he did, he noticed the necklace Harry had gotten for her only a few hours ago, still in her hand.

'It was her birthday present.'

He nodded and covered them up. Then he saw a note by their feet. He picked it up and gave it to me. I sank to my knees as I saw a familiar green skull on the front.

'_Mudblood and squibs,_

_What wonderful children you_

_Have. . . oh sorry. . .I_

_Mean what wonderful_

_Children you **did** have._

_They must care deeply_

_For each other_

_To be so co operative._

_You may notice how inappropriately_

_They are dressed._

_Well they say innocence_

_Is lost on the young_

_I have to agree._

_Oh well. . . enjoy'_

'They made them have. . . sex!'

I nodded. 'Be grateful she wasn't rapped.'

'Lily's right. At least she died in the arms of the one she loved. At least they had the chance of experiencing it before – before – '

We all broke down.

Without us noticing Auror arrived. I looked up at the sudden sound of people gasping and saw to my dismay Sirius and Remus. I ran over to Harry and held his head not moving him from Hermione's cold grasp. I saw Mad-Eye Moody stunning Amy and Adam. They both had become quite hysterical. I was still shock. I couldn't cry anymore, not after James. The light from Moody stunner had illuminated the living room for a few seconds. But that was enough forth the other two men to see parts of the pictures on the walls. Remus turned on the lights and looked around the room, Sirius doing the same. All three Auros looked at me confused and obviously very angry. I didn't notice my left hand sweeping through Harry's uncontrollable hair until they all stared open mouthed at it. Then I realised they had seen my engagement ring and wedding ring. Sirius looked to the picture directly beside him on the table. The photo of me and James in the 'chapel'. Remus had taken a good look at the boy on the floor, then at me, then at the pictures of the ultra scans, the dates on them and the photo of me at 7 months pregnant. Te pieces slowly went together. When they did he turned to me and I was scared. I had never seen him angry, pissed of yeah, but only when the other Marauders wouldn't be quite long enough for people to study in the common room. But this was terrifying. His eyes were cold and blazing fire instead of a mischievous glint, his jaw was set, his body tense and straight. His fists were clenched, one around his wand, the other looked as if it had a mind of its own and it wanted to be around my neck. Sirius soon caught on, but spoke calmly, as if this happened every day. This was what scared me the most.

'Lily, what happened?'

'Where – where – where do you want me to s – start?'

Before either could respond, Moody cut in.

'Miss Evans –'

'Potter. It's Mrs Potter'

'Right – Mrs Potter, who are they (pointing to Amy and Adam), and who are the two children?'

'The adults are Amy and Adam Granger. The girl is their daughter Hermione. The boy is – the boy is – Harry. My son'

Tears were again falling down my face as I looked up from Harry's face and up the one legged man. He just nodded and left. The tension could have been cut with a knife.

'Where do you want me to start?'

Sirius finally snapped.

'How about how the hell you got fucking pregnant by the man you hate the most!'

I snapped my head up to meet his cold glare. Gesturing to Harry I said;

'Does my son look like the son of Lord Voldemort. NO! He's your best friends' son. I didn't hate James. I LOVED HIM! Just as much as Harry loved Hermione.'

Moody came back in. 'Mrs Potter, could you tell us what happened, leading up to when you found them.'

I stared up at the ceiling forcing the tears to stop. They wouldn't.

'They got their Hogwarts letters yesterday on Harry's birthday. Today was Hermione's, so we went to Diagon Alley. Harry had seen a necklace he wanted to get for her, so we separated from them and went to get it. When we met up with them they saw Sirius and Remus standing behind us. I panicked and apparated back here with Harry instantly. I didn't know what to do. Harry couldn't calm me down. When they flooed back here, Hermione took Harry outside, while Amy calmed me down. Adam suggested we go to the pub round the corner, without the kids to calm down and think things through. The kids agreed and stayed here. When we left about 11:30, we were about to use a portkey when I felt like my heart was being ripped out by a blunt kitchen knife. I didn't want to believe that Harry was dead. We got back and I called out to hi them, Adam was calling for 'Mione. We heard Amy scream and we come down here, we found them naked on the floor. Adam covered them and found a note. They had died together, a vow we had heard them speak from the age of 8. We thought it was going to be from old age, not like this.' I finally broke down, finally crying hysterically. Everyone left apart from Remus and Sirius.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

They tried to pull me away, but I resisted and kept myself on the floor.

'Wake them up.'

Remus followed my order. Soon me and the Grangers were drying silently over our children, trying to hold them without moving them apart. The 2 men sat on the sofa and watched.

Too soon, 2 medi-wizards arrived to take our babies away. We refused unless they were put on the same stretcher. They stayed that way until they were buried.

From the moment they were taken I didn't cry. I had lost my husband at 17, now my son at 27. Remus spoke after the Grangers had gone home to tell their families.

'Lily, when did you and James get together?'

'7th year'

'How?' (Sirius)

'My parents were killed. I spent the summer with him. I realised just what my feelings were towards him.'

'You never had a stomach bug did you?'

'No.'

'Huh?' (Sirius)

'Morning sickness.'

'When did you marry James?'

'Christmas day.'

'Where?' (Sirius)

'A chapel in Dumbledore's office.'

'Why did you leave?'

'To keep Harry safe.'

'We could have done that.'

I slowly turned my head and focused on them.

'No. You couldn't. I would have always been looking over my shoulder, waiting, worrying. He deserved to at least have a life with only childish worries. To have his innocence.'

'He didn't even have that in the end.'

Remus looked confused and I pointed to the note still on the table. His face paled. He was too disgusted to speak. Sirius stood up and walked over to me. He knelt down in front of me and held my hands, fingering my rings. He forced me to hold his gaze.

'Why didn't either of you tell us about your relationship or Harry?'

'We wanted to keep it a secret. If people knew we were romantically close, let alone married and God-forbid me being pregnant, then I would have been next on the to-kill list. James preferred not being able to show his love in public, but in private, than showing it in public and having me killed. I want them back, I want –'

I completely lost it and cried. I must have cried for hours on Sirius shoulder, and then have fallen asleep as I woke up in my bed. I walked into Harry's room to wake him up. I found it empty. I called out for him; he was never up this early! I called again, never getting an answer. I was getting frantic. I ran into the living room and stopped dead as everything came rushing back to the front of my mind. Te morning sunshine unable to penetrate what had happened the night before. Suddenly everything went dark and the only light was the candles Harry had lit. I watched at the night unravelled before my eyes.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

'_You can open your eyes now.'_

'_Oh Harry, it's wonderful.'_

'_Not as wonderful as you.'_

_She kissed him lightly._

_They sat down in the middle of the room at a small table, to a dinner Harry had been prepared._

'_You have so many talents Mr Potter.'_

'_Yep. Plenty you'll get t know soon.'_

Just like James

_Hermione blushed. 'I can't wait.'_

_They finished their meal and the plate's with the table vanished. They layed in each other arms looking up at the ceiling which was enchanted like the one at Hogwarts._

'_I love you 'Mione.'_

_His statement caught her off guard. She sat up and looked at him._

'_P—Pardon?'_

'_I—love—you' he repeated slowly._

_Smiled and caressed his cheek._

'_I love you to Harry.'_

_He handed her the present he had picked for her. As she opened it she gasped. She loved it. She looked into his eyes and lost herself. She forgot she was only 11 years old, she just knew that whatever happened, it would be with this boy with her, always._

_Their lips met, softly at first but Harry deepened the kiss and pulled her on top of him. For the first time, she let his tongue enter her mouth. Their kisses became more desperate. Inexperienced hands roamed over barley formed bodies. They pushed themselves as close as they could. Harry rolled over Hermione so he was on top of her._

_With a loud CRACK, 4 Death Eaters apparated into the loving room. Harry automatically rolled of Hermione thinking I had come home. Realising it wasn't me, he pulled Hermione behind him and pulled out James' wand from his pocket, his own upstairs still in its' box. He was hit with the crucious curse before he could even blink. Hermione screamed as Harry writhed on the floor, without ever making a sound. The curse was lifted and in an instant they were both under the Imperious curse. I watched as the two 11 year old were told to undress, and have sex on the floor. As the curse was lifted and their senses returned, so did the pain. Instinctively, they curled up into the position we found them in. Hermione has never let go of the necklace. They were killed a few seconds later._


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19.

They were buried together in the Potter family plot. Amy and Adam had insisted upon it. They had been inseparable in life, we weren't about to separate them now. Their friends along with Sirius, Remus, Mara and TJ all came to the funeral. My old friends brought their own children which hurt. We had always said from 11 years old, that our children would be the best of friends. Or not. That was the last time I ever saw them.

That was 10 years ago. 20 years after I married James and 20 years after Harry was born. I met Daniel McMillan 5 years ago. He loved me on sight. I never felt anything for him. I married him 2 years later. I was still close to the Grangers. Only Amy ever knew I couldn't stand the sight of the man. She was sworn to secrecy. He didn't min when I told him I was a witch. I never told him about James or Harry. They were my past, my life, not his.

But he found out. I found out too late that his step-brother Mark had gone to Hogwarts. I only remembered one Mark near our age, Mark Benson, Mara's half-brother. After that day, she had ranted on and on about it too her parents. . . with Sirius adding things that I had said. I was furious!

Daniel and I started arguing. It was rare at first, but then it went to full on screaming matches every evening. Tonight was no different.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20.

_After the last row, Lily had had enough. She packed all of her things and signed the divorce papers on the kitchen table. If Daniel couldn't except the fact that she would never get over James or that she had had a son and still loved the father with her whole heart, then there was no future in their relationship. She followed Amy's advice and went back to the world she belonged to and carried on with her life as Lily Potter. _


End file.
